Wednesday, November 26, 2008

dang, what are my people doing now?

ok, so the male human pointed out to me that i haven't blogged in like a year. helloooo?!? it's not a year. it's like 11 months. i've been busy adjusting to my new american lifestyle.

it's hard when you have so much yard to watch over. did you know one of my rabbits just hopped right past me this morning? that beeyotch snuck right by because i am so tired from all of the ball playing. everything is bigger in this texass place. there is more grass in the park outside my door than in my last house in that cold place. which, by the way i am not missing at all.

oh yeah, the humans are going there tomorrow. they keep trying to drop hints, but i know what they're up to. good riddance, i say. that lady who comes and hangs out with me is pretty cool. she feeds me cheeseburgers from some place called "sonzik" or something like that. it's good. sometimes she gives me something called "biskit" or maybe "briskit". well, whatever it is, it is good. and she tells me that i can play ball all i want. and go outside. kind of like grandma only younger.

ha ha ha humans. go to that cold place. i am here in your big house with soft couches and rugs and plenty of places to play ball. you go right back to that icy crap. i'm staying here in texass. i don't care what anyone says about rednecks and heat, it's nice here.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

what a long strange trip

wow. i'm finally starting to feel like myself again after a couple of days.

here's what happened:
female human shows up at the old peoples' house. weird because the old guy had been feeding me nice stuff all day and playing as much ball as he could. she ate something then started carrying my stuff out of the house. finally she came back and said, "ok, daisy, let's go."

let's go where?

of course, i'm noisy and i can't resist and before i know it, we're in the the car, it's dark and we're driving on a highway. then we stop and i hear some mean lady talking. she doesn't even ask about me so i start panting really loud. finally she says "what's that noise?" and i put my paws on the seat. my human turned the lights on so she could see me and she rudely says, "wow she's big!"

well, i saw HER. she looked like she was a full figured gal too so she didn't have to be like that.

anyway, we said our goodbyes. then my human says, "whew! we made it through the border without her asking for your papers." what the hell does that mean? am i not important enough for them to look at my papers, whatever that means? sheesh.

anyway, in no time, we stopped again. the human was on the phone saying, "come on down, we're here." and before i knew it, i saw my other human! but i did not recognize the place we were at. for one thing, i am not used to such a low rent district. they kept saying "buff a low" which I have no idea if that was a person or something to eat.

where we were reminded me of the apartment we lived in when i was a puppy, but not nearly as nice. this place was stinky and i don't mean the curry smells from the apartment. i like curry a lot but it doesn't like me so if it smelled like curry i'd be happy. unfortunately it smelled like stinky cigars and stinky men. yuck.

the apartment was very, very small. i am not used to living in a studio! there wasn't even a kitchen, but my people planned ahead and had snacks and water in my yellow cooler. it was also very hot. the female human decided to open the window. thank god! but we also slept on some sort of weird couch bed. it sucked. but less so than the real bed where the snoring male human slept. poor man, it was like a board.

i slept terribly. but unbeknownst to me, i would make up for it all day.

they woke me up at an ungodly hour. 5 am. who i ask you wakes up then? chickens. that's all. oh and old people. the old dude sometimes got up that early, but not always.

at 5 am the male human gave me some peanut butter, then i started to feel very sleepy. i fought it for as long as i could but they guided me into the car and the female human had put down all sorts of blankets and pillows. it was like they planned for me to be exhausted. i have never felt like that least that i remember.

the next thing i knew they were trying to wake me up to go to the bathroom. like that was the last thing on my mind. all i wanted to do is nap. but there was a puppy out there so i had to muster up some balance and set a good example for the youngster. he was sort of cute, but i'm no cougar.

we got back in the car and then stopped again at a place with very shiny floors. i hate shiny. but this place was much more like what i am accustomed to. there were people fawning all over me and petting me. there were presents that i didn't like but it's the thought that counts. and my humans ate steak with me. now that's what i call living.

the bed was also very comfortable. i like 100% down comforters even though feathers make me sneeze. the bed was so comfortable that i slept all night long, like i had never slept before. they even had a special park when it was time for me to go outside. it was fantastic and i was very happy there.

unfortunately, at 5 am, they roused me. stupid humans. once again, i fell for the peanut butter. it is a weakness i'll admit. my name is daisy and i am a peanut butter addict. i tried to fight the sleepy feeling, but i couldn't help myself.

before i knew it, my people were making me get out of the car again. but this time i was in a driveway. they kept saying, "this is your new house, daisy." like i haven't heard that before. what's this like the 6th place i've lived in 10 years?

well, i gotta say, wherever we are this place is the best. it's also the biggest. i still haven't explored but i am waiting for them to go to work so i can really check it out. apparently some sort of holiday is happening because the indoor tree is in the house. i learned long ago that it's not for peeing on. anyway, i am planning a thorough mission once i rest up.

this is what i know so far about this place: the couch is more comfortable than our old one, but the old one is still here. i have a new friend named buzz, he's one of those spazzy labs, but it's ok. i need a workout buddy to get my rubenesque figure back so i'll just deal with him. the humans are taking me for more walks. we went to a mall today and the people in the stores let me in. that would have never happened in my old neighborhood. and now, the male human is making some sort of delicious food. i am pretending not to be interested, but i really am.

the humans keep saying the words "Tex Ass". i'm not sure what that means but they better not be talking about mine. I can't help that the old people didn't take me for walks. i feel like i've already lost weight being here with all of the ball playing. but i'm not complaining.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

so i haven't written in a long time

that's because i've been living with my old people and they are home all of the time so it's really hard to use their computer. they also used to have a terrible computer. it didn't have a picture of that fruit with a bite out of it so i'm not even sure if it was a computer. anyway, they got a computer like the ones i'm used to but i have to wait until they go to the doctor to use it.

you'll probably have more to read from me really soon since i hear that i am moving to somewhere called usa. i don't know exactly where that is, but it sounds a little like uga and he's an online friend of mine like chowder.

i've been told by the old people that i have a nice big yard and new friends like buzz the chocolate lab next door. i also heard that my new house has lots of tile which will be nice for my belly when it's hot.

my people are coming to get me in a few days. i hate riding in the car, but i am going to try so hard to be good. i know that my panting in the car upsets the humans because they get worried about me overheating.

maybe i'll just try to sleep. my snoring doesn't really seem to bother them. in fact, the female human snores louder than me. i didn't think it was possible.

i hope the old people come and visit soon. maybe they'll bring gravy and balls. ok, maybe no gravy. i think i am a bit too fluffy. my male human has made a lot of comments to me about something that sounds like dye it. i sure hope they're not changing my fur color just because i am a little plump.

anyway, i will write more from usa once i get there. which will be soon i'm told.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

cover girl daisy

so remember the photographer who took my picture a few months ago? he put me on the cover of this italian magazine.

pretty cool!


well, i have no idea where the female human is but i don't care.

see, i'm at grandma and grandpa's house. and they feed me snacks pretty much whenever i want. all i have to do is go to the door and they'll let me out. when i want to play ball, i just get one and someone throws it. sweet!

the only problem with this whole arrangement is that i'm getting slightly fluffy, despite my exercise. maybe it's those damn royal gala apples. or the bananas. it certainly isn't the buttered toast or the kilbassa or the cheese cubes. i know, it's the crunchy stuff! well, i'll show them, i just won't eat it.

the male human seems to be gone most of the time too. again, i don't mind because he tells my old people that they are feeding me too many snacks. what does he know? he's never here. and what he doesn't know won't hurt him.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

bump on my butt

i'm itchy. and scratchy. and my legs don't bend the right way to scratch. neither does my back. i'm losing hair on the bump on my butt. hopefully it's just summer shedding and i don't go bald there. i have trouble growing hair back when i lose it.

ok, so the female human hasn't been around for a while.

i'm living with the old people. the male human comes around when it is past dinner time.

i'm really not sure what's going on.

oh and i hear that i'm going to be on the cover of a magazine. the photographer who took my photos last fall said it's going to be on, the free pdf magazine of

once it's up, you better believe i'm linking to it and showing all my faithful readers!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

oh happy day!

so yesterday the male human and i got up early and went in the car. the female human is nowhere to be found. i keep hearing about how she’ll be back soon, but frankly it’s more bed for me, so I hope she doesn’t show up anytime soon.

i was thrilled to find out that it wasn’t back to the vet but after a while we were at grandma and grandpa’s house. oh happy day! i enjoyed the non-stop treat buffet: cookies, kilbassa, roast beef, cheese from the next door neighbour, more cookies. honestly, it’s a wonder I could squeeze in any crunchy stuff but I know fibre is good for me.

we also played a ton of ball and I got to be outside in the yard most of the time. it was fantastic. i love that big yard.

apparently, i am going to get to spend more time in the big yard. the male human keeps talking about a place called tex ass. not sure where that is, but apparently it’s far. it sounds like an animal. but once I get there, I have a big yard waiting for me.

Monday, April 30, 2007

something is going on

and i'm not sure i like it.

things seem to be disappearing around our house. people too -- the female human comes and goes at strange intervals. not sure what's going on, but i think i remember this happening a bunch of other times.

if that's the case, i know what comes next: boxes.

i better get a real yard this time, that's all i have to say.